I could write a piece about female patterns, and possibly I will. But I’ve been struck this week by different forms of male power play I’ve noticed in heterosexual enclaves. I call them male because they were done by men … and I can’t often remember encountering women doing them. And they are heterosexual enclaves because even when the group was more diverse power seems to have been acted out according to a regressed law of male + female.
Three such patterns:
- Credit taking, as in: a couple of people are asked to do something. A man asks the other, a woman if she could start things off. He then finishes it and takes the credit.
- a man is known to be very devoted to his children. People like this, without knowing that the anguish he displays at work or wherever, the ‘I must remember a birthday card’ kind of thing (cue comment from colleagues, especially female ones to whom this might most often be directed: ‘how thoughtful / sweet / caring’) is an anxiety born out of his and his children’s relationship never really happening. Also possibly a subtle form of flirtation.
- Pulling it out of the bag. A last minute triumph that somehow obliterates the ill will and chaos that precedes it. In such cases always look closely for signs of addiction, anticipate various manifestations of infidelity, and expect the day that comes when nothing occurs apart from the dark sonic boom of a man imploding. If he has in some way been regarded as a star then all around him run the risk of being sucked into a black hole.