Married to a Narcissist

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Married to a Narcissist?

Or perhaps you are in some other relationship with one? Living with one, working with one or a parent of one? I specialise in helping people understand what this kind of relationship might mean, how it may have affected them, and what they can do about it.

What Narcissists Need

Narcissists are perceptive people with an intuitive understanding of other people’s needs. They will know your needs inside out, but won’t understand them in the way you might hope (they don’t really think about them). A narcissist knows what you need so that they can control you. Not love and support you.

What You Need

A narcissist will intuitively make you feel uneasy by playing on your fears. They will shake your sense of reality so you might start to believe there is something wrong with you. They may appear reasonable, charismatic, desirable and successful. But without you, and others like you, they are utterly lost. No wonder they will do all they can to keep you. They depend on you by making you feel as if you depend on them. Narcissists lie, apparently shamelessly. They gaslight people. Narcissists are often enraged by the smallest things: pinpricks to their ego. Narcissists don’t like it when you disagree with them. They’re very good at persuading people to do things.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist you will be invaluable to them. You will in some way be extraordinary but unable to draw on that strength yourself. Your narcissist will want it all for him- or herself.

If these problems feel familiar then you need to do something about that relationship. Not necessarily end it, but certainly approach it differently.

Any psychotherapist should be able to help you with this.